


Those Hands on That Body

by Shoshanna Gold (shoshannagold)



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Kink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-01
Updated: 2010-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-09 20:41:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/91394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoshannagold/pseuds/Shoshanna%20Gold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nate's always played by the rules. This time, he's setting them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those Hands on That Body

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction based on characters from the HBO miniseries _Generation Kill_.
> 
> I wrote this for the Anon Porn Meme, and I'm finally de-anoning! Much love to mydocuments and geneli4 for their fabulous beta work.
> 
> I don't think the term bdsm is especially instructive most of the time, but this story does have bondage and other like elements. Heavy kink, very explicit.

Brad closed the door to Nate's hotel room firmly. "What the fuck are you doing here, _sir_?"

"You want to talk now?" Nate asked, pressing him back into the door and biting his neck.

He wasn't gently nipping, either; Brad was pretty sure he was going to be bruised if he let Nate go on. He could give a fuck about that, but he'd asked a question, so he held Nate away a little. "I haven't seen you since you left the Corps; we haven't so much as emailed since you packed up and left Oceanside, and now you show up in fucking London and interrupt my evening of ribaldry with my friend? Damn straight I want to talk."

Nate raised his eyebrows. "But he's more than a friend, isn't he? And that was more than a night on the town with a buddy, it was a good-bye. You deploy in two days."

He wasn't putting up with this shit from a man who'd turned tail and left a year and a half ago with barely an _adieu_. Especially not from this man. "Who he is to me is none of your fucking business. Nor is it your concern that I'm once again going to be in the shit. Is that why you came here, Captain? To send me off to war with a wish and a kiss?" Brad shook his head. "Fuck that shit. It's too late for any of that now." He pushed Nate away, and Nate grabbed his wrists. Brad tried to pull away, but Nate's grip was firm, and Brad had to put some work into it. Nate didn't let up, though, and if he wanted to take this to hand-to-hand, Brad had no problem with that. Getting in a few licks might make him feel better.

Brad was in the best shape of his life, but apparently the Ivy League hadn't softened Nate one bit; he met Brad move for move as they scuffled. In a matter of seconds he had Brad in a chokehold, the arm looped around his neck slowly tightening. Brad was still, counting off seconds in his head so he could fake-out Nate and get the advantage back, and then Nate squeezed hard. Brad's world went black.

*

He woke slowly, drifting in and out for a few minutes, and so it didn't him hit right away that he was naked and tied to the bed. Nate was standing over him. _He_ was fully dressed, Brad noted.

"Don't try to talk yet." Nate said. "Drink this." He held up a bottle of water with a straw to Brad's lips.

Brad drank. The cool water felt good in his sore throat. It helped clear the last bit of grogginess from his head, too, and he took a minute to gauge the situation.

Nate was clearly taking no chances. Brad was propped up on about ten pillows. He wasn't uncomfortable, but his arms were tied, not tightly, but when he pulled against the slack he could only go so far, and his forearms were bound with silk rope. His legs were bound to the footboard, and again, he had enough room to move freely on the bed, but not enough to, say, take Nate down with a good kick. He moved his head away from the straw and Nate took the drink away. "Guess you got the Boy Scouts merit badge in knot-making."

Nate smiled, the first smile Brad had seen on him since Nate showed up at the pub an hour ago. "The Boy Scouts were a little tame for me. No live ammo. I did the grown-up version."

"Roger that." Brad couldn't help it; more than a year away from this man, and still something deep his belly uncoiled the second they were in the same room. "Now that you have my undivided attention, sir, I suppose you want to talk."

Nate looked thoughtful. "Do I have your undivided attention, Brad? How do I know that for sure? I've got your body at my disposal, certainly, but I haven't really done anything to keep your mind from wandering back to your boyfriend."

"I've only been conscious for two minutes," Brad pointed out. "I can assure you that my mind hasn't had time to go anywhere, given that I've been somewhat pre-occupied with the bruise I can feel on my neck and the ropes around my arms and legs. Not to mention the fact that I'm completely naked."

"It's only a little mark," said Nate dismissively. "And I know you, Brad. You're going to start thinking about the implications of all this, what it could mean that I'm here, what it might mean for you and that guy. You may think you're paying attention to me now, but I can assure you, you have no idea what that really means." Nate popped the button on his fly and unzipped his jeans, and Brad could see that he wasn't wearing shorts, the head of Nate's cock peeking out. Nate smirked at him again and took out his cock, which was thick and long and hard. Brad stared as he started stroking himself roughly, working pre-come over the head.

"Have you ever fucked a man, Brad? Have you ever stuck your dick in an ass so hot, so tight, that you'll never think about pussy again?" Nate reached into his pocket and took out condoms and a pack of lube. He was right: Brad's attention ratched up another ten notches as Nate kneeled on the bed. He reached out and slapped Brad's thighs apart. "Or is it that you haven't been fucked?"

Brad's cock hardened at the first slap, and he took a breath before he answered, but Nate cut him off. "Shut your mouth. I'll let you know when I want to hear from you."

Nate was serious, Brad realized, and that made him even harder. He closed his mouth and nodded, his eyes on Nate's.

"Good," said Nate approvingly, running a warm hand up Brad's thigh, and Brad closed his eyes, fighting against pushing into the touch. Nate laughed and slapped his leg again. "Turn over. I want you on your hands and knees."

Brad found that the ropes were tied in a way to let him turn around without problem, and he wondered how much experience Nate had doing this, who else he'd done it with. Why he hadn't ever let on that he wanted this, in the months before they'd both left Pendleton.

Nate slapped his ass. "I really can tell when your mind wanders, Brad. Eyes front, legs apart."

Brad moved into position, and Nate pulled away the pillow that had been resting just under his hips, so there was nothing but air between Brad's dick and the mattress. "You don't come until I tell you that you can. Understood?"

Brad nodded again, and felt Nate's lips on the back of his neck. "You're doing so well. I'm proud of you."

Fuck. That shouldn't fill Brad with such warm satisfaction. He wanted to get through this night, though whatever stunt Nate had cooked up, and walk away from it unscathed. That seemed increasingly unlikely every time Nate opened his mouth. He tensed, trying to make his body less pliant. Trying to shut himself away from what Nate was about to do to him, so that he wouldn't remember as much. It would be easier that way, in the long run.

"You don't understand yet," said Nate softly, biting at Brad's neck. "Or is it that you don't believe me? You will soon. I promise."

Brad didn't have time to think about what that meant, because Nate was no longer pressed against his back, and a finger, slick with lube, was slowly pushing into his hole, carefully opening him. And then another, and Brad didn't give a damn about rubbing up against the pillows, he just wanted to fuck against those fingers.

Then they were gone. Brad heard Nate's zipper come down and the condom being torn open and then Nate was back against him, pressing his cock in slowly, so slowly that Brad felt every millimeter as it entered him, filling him. Nate was big, and Brad took deep, slow breaths, willing his body to open. It hurt some, but he didn't give a fuck; he just wanted Nate inside him.

Nate didn't talk again until his balls were pressed up against Brad's ass, his jeans rubbing against him. Nate had barely pulled them down; he was going to fuck Brad almost totally clothed, like some illicit rendezvous in a dirty john. "I can't even begin to describe how hot you are around my cock right now. I can tell that nobody's fucked you today, Brad. I can tell that you didn't let him inside you."

Brad turned his head, ready to – but what could he say, really? Nate was only part right, and Brad wouldn't regret what he'd done, but if he'd known this was an option he might have waited for Nate like some pussy sixteen year-old who'd taken a chastity vow. Nate kissed him. "Don't look at me like that. I know that was just today; I know that he's fucked you.

"I can see you taking him, letting him inside you like this." Nate pulled out a little and then thrust in deeply, and Brad moaned. "He's pretty fucking hot, isn't it? I sat there in that pub, and I watched him touch you, and I knew. I'm sure you fucked him, too. I'm sure he was your first guy. Maybe you sucked a guy off a time or two, maybe a circle jerk. Just another way Marines make do; one nobody talks about in the books. Not the one Evan wrote, not the one I wrote. There is not a single word in my book about how I used to listen to my boys in the back of the truck at night."

"Quiet, so quiet." Nate said softly, fucking into Brad more slowly. "Like Mike and I would do fuck all if we caught them. I used to lie there and listen to them. I didn't just pretend it was you, I want you to know."

"Hasser has such a pretty mouth. I used to wonder if you took advantage of that tongue. I know Ray did. I know he still is, as a matter of fact. Pappy and Mike... did you know about them? I walked in on them once, in Mathilda. And again, after we were back, I know they got together. Easy buddy fucking, no complications. That's when I knew I had to leave. I couldn't see it ever being like that for us. But we'll talk about that later."

Nate was quiet for a minute, his hands holding hard onto Brad's hips as he fucked him. Brad closed his eyes, feeling nothing but Nate's cock splitting him open, his own cock jerking futilely, untouched.

"I thought about shutting Ray up with cock," Nate said, almost conversationally. He'd been fucking Brad hard for a good while now, they were both covered in sweat, but to listen to Nate you'd think he was sitting with friends at the bar, having a slow and easy night. "Your cock, usually. I'd watch, tell you what to do. But I thought most about fucking you. I admit it. I haven't stopped thinking about fucking you since the first day I met you. I hoped I'd get over it. Even before I was your commander. I was still an officer, you were enlisted. It would have been wrong to drop to my knees on the deck in the enlisted head on the Dubuque. But I wanted to. I wanted to suck you off and then bend you over and spread you open with my tongue."

Fuck if Brad hadn't wanted that, too. Nate had just been a cherry officer then, but already showing incredible potential. Brad had paid close attention to both his command and his cock-sucking lips.

"You'd have made the best noises, Brad. It would have been hell trying to not come just from listening to you as I fucked you with my tongue. I would have opened you up with my mouth and my fingers. I could have even taken you like that, prepped by my hands and spit, but I wouldn't have. Not your first time."

Brad moaned as Nate pulled out slightly and traced his finger around where his cock penetrated Brad's asshole. He pushed it in slightly, and fuck, it was so tight, it was almost too much – but he didn't have permission to come. He took another deep breath, and Nate laughed, pulling his finger out and thrust deeply back in, his balls hitting Brad's ass. Each time Nate fucked into him, his cock unerringly hitting Brad's prostate, and Christ, it was so good.

Nate folded over him so that his chest was pressed against Brad's back, the soft cotton of Nate's shirt between them. He kissed Brad's shoulders and neck. Every kiss was followed with a bite, or sometimes Nate switched them up and bit before he kissed, but either way, Brad was going to wear this day on his skin into his deployment.

"This is going to sound like a bad porn movie," said Nate, biting hard again, sending thrills through Brad's body. "But you're so tight. Sometimes fucking a guy isn't any different than fucking a girl. I've fucked plenty of guys who were looser than any woman. A lot of guys in Oceanside have taken it up the ass more often than Godfather fucked us over."

His breath was more jagged now, his cock driving into Brad more erratically. "Did you know that, Brad? Did you know that an asshole can get so loose, open, that sometimes you can just about slide your whole hand in without even prepping it?" Brad turned his head to look at Nate, almost as turned on by what Nate was saying as he was by Nate invading his ass. Nate kissed him, his teeth and tongue hurting and soothing again and again, so that for a moment Brad was lost in blur of pleasure and pain.

Nate kissed him one last time, sucking Brad's swollen lower lip into his mouth before pulling away and nipping again at the back of Brad's neck. "I'm going to fuck you again tonight. And then again after that. Open you up for me enough so that eventually you won't need lube or fingers when I take you. I won't fuck you dry tonight, but you'll get a taste of what it'll be like when I do. One day I'll hurt you with my cock as well as I do with my hands and mouth." Nate bit down again, and came, a low groan buried in the back of Brad's neck.

Brad ached to touch. Ached to touch Nate, to lick the sweat off his neck and keep going down. To touch himself, his cock so hard it _hurt_, the need to come so vital he thought that a whisper of breath across it might undo him. He shifted in his bonds, not trying to get free, just to balance himself better. His hands dug into the sheet under him, knuckles white with tension.

Nate pulled out, leaving Brad with his ass up in the air, his empty hole exposed. Two fingers pushed into him, then three, and Brad couldn't help pushing back on to them as they grazed over his prostate. But Nate just laughed and took them away, his hand cracking against Brad's ass.

"Not yet," said Nate. "I'm going to clean up. Get comfortable. We're nowhere close to done."

Brad did as he was told, turning over and resting back against the pillows again. His throat still hurt, his ass stung where Nate had slapped him, and his mouth and shoulders felt tender from Nate's bites. He closed his eyes, cataloguing these feelings, luxuriating in them.

After a few minutes, the water stopped running in the bathroom and Brad watched Nate walk back into the bedroom, putting his cock back into his jeans and zipping up. His hair had grown out since Brad had last seen him; it looked wavy and soft. In his jeans and pale blue button down, untucked and unbuttoned, he might have been twenty, still fresh and innocent. Or so one might think until they looked into his eyes, which were hard and old. They all wore war differently, in marks and abrasions and tattoos, but Brad thought that Nate might wear it on his soul, a scar that would never heal.

Nate looked at him as though he had presented himself for inspection. "Spread those legs, Marine," he ordered, his voice sharp. Brad obeyed the command, opening his legs until they strained against the ropes binding him. Even spread like this, the cords didn't bite into his ankles, and he was again struck by how well Nate had tied him in the few brief minutes he had been unconscious. He'd done this before, had tied somebody up and fucked them. Brad didn't want to know who had come before him, not like this, he realized. Nothing that had happened to either of them with anybody else before today mattered.

"I want your attention, Staff Sergeant." Nate's voice was still strict, and it still hit something deep inside him, just like every other order that Nate had issued to him. Brad had been taking orders from officers since he was fourteen. Until Nate, none of them had ever made him want to drop to his knees in supplication.

He nodded, holding Nate's gaze as he walked over to the bed and licked his finger. Looking Brad right in the eye, he dragged a wet finger over Brad's asshole.

Brad spasmed, arching up to try to get even the tip of that finger inside him.

"Like I said, I know he put his fingers in you. I could tell when you took me so easily." Nate's finger sketched over his hole again, too fast for Brad to feel it as anything more than the memory of touch. "A finger in your ass, to stretch you open. Two, three. Did he put four in you? Was he the daring type, Brad? I bet he wasn't. He didn't know that he could get more out of you than a quick suck and fuck."

"Four fingers is a lot, Brad. You know that, you know how full it makes you feel. Imagine me holding you open with my thumbs, pushing inside you like that. Imagine my fist, doing the same. " Brad's ass clenched at the thought, his hips lifted of their own accord and he felt acutely empty.

Nate watched him, waiting until he was back under some semblance of control, and then offered him water, with that same damn straw. When Brad was done drinking, Nate put the glass down and got on the bed and straddled Brad's hips, his jeans rubbing against Brad's skin. He was careful to not touch Brad's cock, thank God, because one brush of the rough fabric against his aching flesh would have set him off.

Nate leaned down and kissed him, licking at Brad's wet tongue. The kiss was deceptively soft, especially considering the sharp bite on Brad's lip that followed it. Nate licked at the spot, and when they kissed again, Brad licked the coppery taste of his own blood out of Nate's mouth. Nate bit again, at the exact same spot, and Brad couldn't hold back his low whimper of pain.

"Shhh, baby." Nate rubbed at the spot, his calloused thumb worrying the wound. "I'll let you know when I want to hear from you. You can take whatever I give you, I know you can. But maybe you need some help being quiet." Nate pushed at Brad's lip again, a different kind of touch, and Brad opened his mouth. He'd always known what Nate wanted from him, and he knew Nate had always known what to give him, even when he couldn't do it. Nate fed him one finger at a time, letting Brad suck on one for a minute before adding another.

Nate's fingers were long and wide. Brad took three of them without any trouble, but Nate was opening and contracting them, taking up as much room in Brad's mouth as possible, and he had to breathe carefully when he took the fourth, as Nate fucked into his mouth with his hand. His jaw was stretched wide and the cut on his lip felt raw as Nate rubbed it.

"It's not the same but I want to you to think about what it's going to feel like when I fill you up. I won't always be careful, Brad." Nate pressed his thumb into the cut, his nail like another bite. "I'll take you with spit, without any prep, and I'll fuck you until you're raw." Brad sucked harder at that, and Nate opened his hand once again, brushing over the back of Brad's palette. "You want it now, I know. Soon, Brad, and then always. I'm going to fill you up with dildos and plugs. I'm going to watch you fuck yourself on them. I won't send you to work in one, but that might be the only time your ass is empty," he said.

He pulled his fingers out of Brad's mouth as slowly as he'd put them in. "I'll gag you too, sometimes. Not because I don't trust you to not make noise – look at how well you're doing right now. No, I'll do it to fill you up." He put his hand over Brad's mouth. "Maybe I'll put you in a hood with earplugs. I'll let you breathe through your nose, but I'll have you in a cage all day to keep your cock soft for me, so that I can fill that, too." Brad shuddered, staring up at Nate, who nodded. "I'd show you what I mean, but if I touch your cock, you'll come. So imagine yourself blind and mute, the only air coming in through your nostrils. I'm going to push a plug into your ass, and then I'm going to take your cock out of its cage and fill it with a sound. I'll be fucking your every office, Brad, inside every part of you."

Brad couldn't have spoken even if he'd want to, for maybe the first time in his life. He just stared up at Nate, hypnotized by that smooth voice promising to brutalize his body. Nate smiled at him and kissed him, gently this time.

"This is just a taste, Brad. That's why it never felt right with that guy you were out with tonight. I know it's my fault, I know I left you. I didn't know that we could only fit with each other, then. But there's no way he could ever be enough, you know that now. He doesn't know what you want, doesn't know your limits. Check that. He doesn't know you don't have any limits."

"He has no fucking idea how much you can take." Nate leaned in close and bit Brad's ear. Hard. "Did he fuck you open with his tongue, Brad? Until all you could think of was the next lick, the next bite? You'd be so open. I'm going to eat you out for hours, until you beg. You won't even know what you're asking for. Do you want me to stop? Do you want me to let you come? Are you so sensitive it hurts? I can make you hurt, Brad. I will make your body hurt."

Nate sat up a little, so that his mouth was no longer near Brad's and Brad wanted the warmth of his breath back against his face. Fuck, he was completely _owned_ and even if he could do anything about it, he didn't think he would.

Once more, Nate smirked at him like he knew exactly what Brad was thinking. He pinched Brad's pec, his fingers squeezing hard enough to hurt. Hard enough to mark, Brad had no doubt. He did it over and over again, following the circle of Brad's muscle, and this must be what it felt like to have tits, for them to be swollen and full and aching. He lay back on the pillows so he couldn't see. For once he just wanted to revel in the sensation and so the first slap to his bruising flesh was a surprise. The second slap was harder, and was followed by a third and fourth. Brad could take any amount of physical pain, but this was different, somehow, and he felt himself slowly start to unravel in a way he hadn't known was possible. And yet, as the blows continued, he didn't feel like he was losing anything, but gaining more than he'd ever had.

He stared up at the ceiling but didn't really see anything as Nate stopped hitting him and started talking again while working over Brad's nipples, twisting and pulling them with his fingers. "This isn't going to be everything. Don't think I don't know who you are. There isn't a single thing about you that isn't strong and brave and real. I know you're sheer fucking steel, Brad. That's why I love you. I'm never going to own you. I don't want to. You aren't some stupid pet who gets smacked on the ass for failing to stand on his head." He heard the smirk in Nate's voice. "I can assure you that when I beat you, it's going to be with something much harder than a newspaper."

"But that's just a distraction, isn't it, right now? Thinking about coming home and seeing my belt on the bedside table." At that, Brad sat up a little, and leaned as far forward as the ropes would let him. Nate met him, and kissed him softly, a counterpoint to the violence he was promising. Brad filled Nate's mouth with his tongue, needing so much more of Nate inside him. "That's going to happen, Brad. It's not going to be because I'm pissed off, or because you left the toilet seat up, and it's not going to be because I show you I love you by being an abusive asshole. I'm not that person, and neither are you."

"It's going to be because I get hard on the drive home thinking about you spread wide on the bed, asking for it, just like this. Because you know you can trust me. You've never told anybody how hard pain makes you, how much it turns you on. But nobody fucking runs up a mountain on a broken ankle without being seriously twisted." Nate pinched Brad's nipple with his nails before twisting it in his fingers, the touch burning and wrenching. "I knew what you wanted the first time I heard that story. I didn't think I'd ever give it to you. I wanted to, but I couldn't. Not then. But after you lose so much, Brad, you know how much more you're willing to lose. Who you're willing to lose. What you'll do to keep them."

"There isn't much I'm not willing to let go of, at this point, to be perfectly honest. There are only a few things, a few people I want to keep for as long as I can. Once I saw through all my own bullshit, I realized you were one of them. That's why I came to get you. I might still lose you to a bullet or an RPG or a fucking roadside bomb. I've reconciled myself to that."

It hurt to look at Nate, who'd slid down his body and was sitting between his legs, his face more open and anguished than Brad had ever seen. "But I won't lose you because we were scared shitless of what we bring out in each other."

Fuck the rules. Brad opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Nate shook his head. "Not yet. I promise we'll talk more about this, when I decide to let you talk again. Before you deploy, certainly. But I'm not done with you yet. And as much as you want to tell me you love me, I bet you want to come more." Nate grinned, his sadness replaced with a kind of twisted humor.

Brad raised his eyebrows, silently challenging Nate to do his worst. The smile he got back was evil. "This is the last time we're ever going to talk about your British boyfriend, you understand. Tomorrow you're going to end it. Nobody else, Brad. Never again. And he might have fucked you and sucked you and fingered you, but I bet he never did this for you." Nate looked down at Brad's legs, which had closed slightly since Nate had sat on the bed. "Spread them again, wider. " Nate nodded, and slapped the inside of Brad's thigh, up high where the skin was thin and tender.

"I could turn you over again and beat your ass. And I will. But I want to see your face, Brad, as you hurt for me. I want to know what this looks like on you, so I can think about it while you're five thousand miles away, fucking up the enemy." Nate landed a heavy, hard blow, perilously close to Brad's sac, and Brad shuddered, his eyes watering. "I want you know to what I look like when I'm hurting you, when you jack off in theatre, thinking about what I'm going to do to you when you get back."

Brad thrust up, trying to get more, and Nate pulled his hand away. Smirking, he lightly slapped Brad's cock, and then again, harder. "You'll be still, or I'll have your cock in a ring. How long do you think I can make you wait, Brad? Do you want to test my resolve?"

Brad made himself breathe. One breath in, one breath out. If he focused on his breath, he wouldn't talk back, wouldn't disobey Nate. He'd taken a lot of deep breaths for this reason over his career; he could pretend this wasn't much different.

Nate smiled down at him. "It wouldn't take much, would it? I could just say, yes, Brad, come, right now, and you'd lose your mind. So much for that big block of ice you pretend to be. Or I could touch you. Just the head of your cock, one quick stroke of my palm over it and you'd be gone." He wrapped his hand around Brad's balls, squeezing tightly, painfully. "What do you think the punishment for coming without permission is, Brad?"

Nate kept his grip hard, and the part of Brad's brain still capable of thought thanked him, over and over again. Nate leaned down and licked the head of Brad's cock, and Brad couldn't help it, he thrust his hips up, trying to get away from Nate's fist, trying to find just a second of release.

"Should I get that ring, Brad?" Nate looked thoughtful. "I should advise you, it wouldn't much matter if you came now or not. I'm still going beat your ass. I want to see you take it, Brad. I want to see you take everything I have to give. I left you once, and I won't do it again. But that means you get all of me, and this is a part of who I am. This is what I want from you."

He twisted Brad's balls for emphasis, and Brad's vision blurred. Nate's touch gentled and he stroked Brad's cock softly. But Nate hadn't said the words, and Brad held on, every molecule of him straining for control.

Finally he felt as though he could look at Nate again. He opened his eyes to see Nate smiling down at him. "Good boy" he said, quietly, and a part of Brad that had been closed and empty for years broke wide open.


End file.
